#I DIGRESS. itsa shitty feeling no matter how many times it happens | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

onemillionvolts · 2 years ago

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i can't exactly say i've had an excess of experiences in my life and certainly i've had it better than a lot of people. but in my years, i've found that one of the absolute worst things (in my opinion at least) is that feeling in a relationship where you start to question yourself, if you still love that person or if you're just terrified of being alone. where you feel like you're forcing yourself to care, trying desperately to drown those thoughts out. questioning how much of it was just not wanting to be alone in the first place. i can confidently say it's the worst feeling i've ever had the mispleasure of experiencing throughout my life... and maybe i'm lucky for that, i don't know, but man it really does suck.

#the last few months have been the only time where i've truly been to myself #had breathing room so to speak and while it's absolutely deafening and part of me hates it i would say it's eternally better than #the alternative of just dragging along basically a faux act just to not have to hear your own thoughts #anyways i'm not sure why i thought of this just now but it's really interesting to me #in my one lucid moment a month. trust me it'll be back to shitposting in 12 hours #these tags r longer than the post AHAHAHAHA #I DIGRESS. itsa shitty feeling no matter how many times it happens #ok im gonna BE QUIET NOW. off to writing

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